Happy to see the fighting everywhere!

So today I went to the store to buy some groceries with my mum. I was so happy when I saw the back of the cereal box and saw the encouragement to fight breast cancer and that you should take care of your breasts. This makes my belief in spreading the knowledge about this disease so much stronger. We need to fight this cancer and we have to do it together.

Right track of my project

Today I had a ”mentor meeting” and it really feels like I am on the right track of this project. I feel good about where everything is heading and especially after my day at KS. The final product is still in the air since I am not 100 % sure of what there has to be but within the next week I will be clear on this point as well. The aim of my project is still the same with spreading the basic knowledge about breast cancer to specially girls and young women.

Reflection of myself at the KS

Yesterday I was at KS meeting Dr. Lagercrantz. As I have said earlier here it was an amazing day and the experience was priceless. What I have thought about now is how I acted at KS during the day. I have thought about my feelings and my way of thinking when I met the patients and how I talked to the doctor when we were alone and how all of these things had an effect on me.

I guess the point is that of course you get sad when meeting a disease in its rawest form like this but for me it was more than that. Yes, I wanted to cry sometimes and yes I got really emotional on the exterior but I felt it deeper than that. I felt something inside of me. It was like some sort of strength and power that wanted to help these women to fight the cancer. There was a connection I felt which made me feel like helping all of these fellow people. I do not know if this is common or if it is something that just I felt but this is how I reacted and my reflections on it. 

Home again after my day at KS

I just got home from Karolinska Sjukhuset after my day with Dr. Lagercrantz. It has been so amazing and I do not know where to start. To start off we sat in a small room discussing all my questions. She was really good in explaining what breast cancer is and what it does to the body. After that we had lunch and continued to talk about the day and new questions that kept popping up in my mind.

In the afternoon I got to meet four patients and they were all so different. Of course I will not say any names or so because that it not allowed but I can say that they were all very different. There was one girl that was only 35 years of age and one that was above 60 years old. It was really interesting seeing the difference in each case and how their lives were affected by their disease.

During these hours I had a lot of feelings running through my mind and body. There were a couple of times that I wanted to cry because breast cancer is horrible. It is mean and evil and I do not think anyone deserves to have this disease at all. But sadly people get sick with breast cancer and when that happens it is so crucial and important to see to the positive aspects and not only the bad ones.

Though the times were I felt tears coming through there were happy times as well. There was one patient that got good news and I just saw how she got this massive smile on her face and then it is really hard to not smile yourself as well. There was such joy in that moment and it is something I will never forget.

I am so happy after today, it all went so great and I have learned more than I expected to. I got many facts, tips and tricks and so much stuff that I will use during the rest of this project. 

At the hospital!

So I am currently at Karolinska Sjukhuset in my scrubs for the day! I look like a doctor student right now!

Preparing for my day at the hospital

So tomorrow I will go to Karolinska Sjukhuset for my day with doctor Lagercrantz. I am really excited and actually a bit nervous. I do not know how I will react or what will happen. What I know is that I will go there, to Radiumhemmet as it is called in Swedish, and there I will meet Dr. Lagercrantz. First we will be talking alone and she will try to answer my questions I have prepared. After that we will have a small lunch and then I will be a part of her four examinations of patients that is on her schedule.

The part that scares me the most is probably the part where I will meet her patients. I do not know who I will react to all of this, seeing the disease in it true form and what it does to people. I have some fears that I will start to cry, get really sad or upset. But I guess that time will tell how I am going to react.

For preparation I have come up with a lot of questions and they are quite open so that each of them can start a discussion or lead into a larger conversation and not only a yes or no answer. Here are a few examples of the questions: 

• Hur ska man förklara vad cancer är för personer i min ålder så att de förstår?
• Är bröstcancer ärftligt? 
• Vad är viktigast att tänka på redan nu i ung ålder? Vad drar vi mest nytta av nu att veta inför framtiden?

Finally feeling better!

Today is Sunday and I am starting to feel better again. The soreness of my throat and everything else is starting to back off so it makes me really happy. The medication from the hospital is helping, my strength is coming back and I think I will be able to start with the “background checks” on the basics of breast cancer today. It has been worth to be at home and just resting this last week. I do not think I would be healthy right now if I would have worked and then the project would suffer from bad work and that would not be so good in the end. So basically I am happy that I feel better and that I let myself take this rest. It was the smartest thing to do.

Still sick…

So today is Thursday and I am still really sick. I got tonsillitis and it hurts so badly. I can hardly eat and I have been in bed since Monday. There has not been any work done during the week and it bugs me a bit but I know that it is better to rest now and get better and healthy again instead of getting worse by working. Hopefully I will feel better during the weekend so that I can have a fresh start next week.

Starting the project weeks with being sick…

Today is the first day of the two projects weeks and sadly I think I have caught the flu... my whole body aches and I can barely move. I will be lying in bed until I feel better, hopefully that will be soon. There is no chance that I will be able to work anything today with my head feeling as it will be blown into pieces any second…